|Dialogue for King Henry VIII Kindergarten appearance, 3/25/02
[Striding into the room]: Good morning, children! [cups ear]
Is this any way to greet a king? Let us try again, shall we? Good morning, class!
[Smiling and crossing arms imperiously.]
Now that's more like it. Do any of you know who I am?
I am King Henry VIII. My father was King Henry VIII. Now do any of you what country I come from?
England. I lived over 500 years ago. Who is YOUR king? Wait, I know. [Show picture of George W.] King George W.?
[No, he's president…]
President - well, who is your King?
[We don't have a king]
What? You don't have a king? What kind of country is this?
America. In my day, a man from Christopher Columbus had just discovered America. Strange, wild country, full of savages and heathens. Are you savages and heathens?
Well, that's good. You don't look like savages.
But enough about you. Let me tell you about ME. You see, being king is very hard. Everybody wants my job. And if you lose your job when you are king, you might very well lose your head.
So how many of you are married? No one? What are you waiting for? When my brother, Arthur, was only 3, my father promised that he would be married to Catherine of Aragon. He had never met her, didn't even know if she was pretty, but it was very important to my father, King Henry VII, that Arthur and Catherine get married so that England and Spain would be friends. But there was just one problem. Arthur got sick and died.
I was going to school all the time, and my father wanted me to be a priest. But when my brother died, my father called to me:
"Forget all about that priest business. You are going to be king and marry Catherine."
"But I'm only 12!"
She was 6 years older than me; sort of like if you had a girlfriend in the 6th grade. Do any of you have girlfriends in the 6th grade?
Now many people remember King Henry VIII as a MEAN king. But I had to be mean sometimes - it was what kings did. Catherine and I were married for over 20 years. We had a little girl named Mary, but no boy. It was That's right. Because the boy would be king after I died. If I died but did not have a son, then there might be a WAR to decide the next king. Now we could not have that, could we?
So I got a new wife, Ann Boleyn, but she didn't give me a son either. But she did give me a daughter. [Show picture of Elizabeth.] This was Elizabeth. We lived together in this great big house, and ate lots of great food. We had pheasant coated in gold. And did you know we had this wonderful sweet white powder that we could add to food - sugar. We had never had sugar before. Well, little Elizabeth used to get so many sweet things. And we didn't know about brushing, so her teeth got all black. But we know about brushing today, don't we boys and girls? How many of you brought your toothbrush to school? None of you? Well, that's not true! You each have 10 tooth brushes. Because in my day, THIS [holds up finger] was a toothbrush. Everybody, hodl up your toothbrush. [Brushes teeth with fingers.]
I got a third wife, but she was very, very ugly, so I got a fourth wife. Finally, she gave me a son, but she died giving birth to him. His name was Edward and he was a good boy but he was very sick all the time. [Show picture]
Not strong enough to be a king if you ask me. He only ruled for 6 years. In all, I had 6 wives.
Now I'm here to answer your questions. Ask King Henry VIII any question you want.